I will always love you more Accept that'
by Baconaise-Light
Summary: A James/Lily oneshot. Lily can never love James as much as he loves her. I apologise for my appalling summary.


**Written for the Today's Prompt of the Day on the Hogwarts Online Forums. **

**'I will always love you more. Accept that.' **

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Lily could feel the rainwater soaking quickly through her cotton jacket. The wind whipped fiercely at her sodden hair and clothes, making her shiver as she ran down the concrete pavement, only stopping when she reached the corner of the street, bending over and trying to regain her breath. She couldn't face him again. Not now.

She had tried _so_ hard, damn it, to put in as much effort as James. She wanted him to feel as loved as he made her feel in return. But it was impossible...

That boy...

He carried her school books, walked her to class, bought her flowers, showed her off in front of his friends (but not in his usual arrogant way, she was pleased to add) and made her feel wanted every single second of every single day.

It was too much. There was absolutely no way she could compete with that. Her parents adored him almost as much as she did (Petunia despised him of course, but that was no surprise to her).

But the truth was, Lily didn't feel that she adored him enough. That boy was wonderful, he really was.

But he was also so arrogant and petty- he made cruel jokes at other people's expenses (especially Severus', and although they weren't exactly friends anymore, it still hurt Lily to see him degraded like that) and played childish pranks with his friends. He was a show off, too loud and his smile was a little crooked. He drove her crazy.

It had, of course, been James who had first chased her. He had been infatuated with Lily for years, and frequently asked her out at school. It had become a running joke between him and his friends to find new ways to attract her attention, most of which infuriated her further, which meant that she was especially surprised when she found herself actually caring for him.

She realised that she would miss his attention if he moved on to another girl. So after about the millionth time, she had said yes, making James fall off the bench in the school grounds in surprise.

It had all been going so well. But, she really couldn't keep this up. She loved James. Of _course_ she loved him; more than anyone else in the world perhaps. But she would never be able to compete with his love.

Which is why she had to end it. To stop herself from hurting him further, she had to hurt him in the worst possible way.

But his face when she had told him; it made Lily's heart break. He had begged with her, cried and pleaded with her to reconsider. She had to get out of there.

'Lily?'

She looked up. James was standing away from her, slightly down the street.

'It's over James,' the coldness in her voice surprised her.

'I won't accept that,' James said, stepping towards her. 'Lily, please tell me what's wrong.'

'I just don't love you anymore!' Lily shouted, clenching her eyes shut. 'Now please just go away!'

A silence hung between them for what seemed like forever. Finally Lily dared to open her eyes again. James hadn't left. He was still standing there- staring down at her.

'You're a liar.' James had the nerve to smirk slightly. 'You're a liar Evans, and you know it.'

Lily didn't answer.

'I've noticed you,' James continued, not deterred by her silence. 'I've noticed the effort you've put into making me happy recently. Laughing at my ridiculously stupid jokes, being extra nice to Remus, Sirius and Peter- and of course my parents. This isn't you Lil.'

He stepped forward and cupped her chin in his hand, bringing her face to meet his. 'You don't have to try so hard.'

'But you try so hard...' Lily mumbled, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. 'You put so much effort into making me happy.'

James sighed, and smiled at her. 'Lily, I love you more than my own life. You could never love me as much as I love you. I've always loved you more. Accept that.'

'I can't.'

'Well, you're just gonna have to damn well try.' James pulled her into an embrace. 'Cos I ain't leaving you- not ever.'


End file.
